If you've ever seen a guy in a bar walk up to a
girl he didn't know and make out with her almost immediately, it can be a
completely mind-blowing experience. It may seem like it's magical or out of
reach - a special ability or super-power that someone is born with.
But it's not. And it can be broken down into a few
simple steps you can follow in order to make the same thing happen for you. In
this article, I'm going to break down those steps.
The first step is to realize that about 90% of the
difference between someone who's really good with women and someone who's not
so good or mediocre with women, is the ability to spot a woman who's ready to
make out.
I know it sounds kind of crazy at first, but it's
true. If you walk into a bar and go up to any woman without knowing what signs
to look for, your odds of success go WAY down.
You must know how to spot that woman who's already
in this "make-out ready" state, so you can walk up and be "that
guy."
Don't buy
into the myth that women don't want this to happen.
Women are as sexual (if not more sexual) than guys
are. Most of the time, this "turbo" make-out session never happens,
because so many guys are afraid to go for it. And when this doesn't happen, the
girls end up going home alone or worse.. staying being kind of mean to a lot of
guys in the bar/being resentful and angry because no one's approaching them.
By putting this technique into practice, You want
to discover how to see the women who you're able to make out with in 40 seconds
or less in the first place.
There are a few excellent indicators that will
(especially in a bar atmosphere) tell you if a woman is game, or ready for an
instant make-out session.
What To Look
For
The first indicator is a woman looking down often.
When a woman looks down often, she is accessing her emotions.
Let me explain... When we look in different
directions, we access different parts of our brain. These are called "Eye
Accessing Cues." When a woman is in a bar setting and looking down, she's
accessing her emotional brain.
If she makes eye contact with you, looks down then
back up again, she's saying: "I have an emotional response to you looking
at me and I'm looking down." And if she tilts her head down as well (and
doesn't just use her eyes to look down), she's physically dropping herself a
little bit lower and showing submission.
This gives
you the ability to walk up and be the dominant man.
Now, if she looks at you, smiles and doesn't look
away, this could be a lot more difficult situation. Socially, she's meeting you
head on, and not showing immediate submission.
Women who you're going to be able to walk up to and
make out with in 40 seconds or less should automatically take the submissive
role as a woman. That's one quality which shows you'll be able to quickly make
out with her.
Another quality is that she's actively looking
around to make eye contact. This is crucial. A woman who is engaged with
someone specifically and she's not looking away is not going to be as easy to
seduce in 40 seconds or less. It's going to take much longer.
Again, you're going to have to play a totally
different kind of game when you walk up. You can't just walk up and make out
with her.
So instead, if you see a woman who is in a
conversation but she's constantly looking around and trying to make eye contact
with a lot of people, this is probably a very, very likely opportunity for you
and that's a woman you can walk up to and immediately become sexual with.
Other traits are revealed in the way they're moving
and how they're dressed. Let's say she's standing with her feet about
shoulder-width apart. It's less likely that a woman standing like this is going
to be available for you to walk up and dominate. That's because she's standing
in a dominant position, with stronger body language and she'll probably be a
lot more resistant.
Instead, you want to find a woman who takes up less
space. She has her legs closer together and seems to be outside of a group,
looking around a little bit.
Another thing is the way she's dressed.
If she's dressed in a way that's super flashy and attracting lots of attention,
she probably isn't the kind of girl you can walk up to and make out with in 40
seconds.
This kind of women is looking for
attention - not for someone to dominate them. What you want is someone who's in
between "I don't care" and "Stare at my tits, bitch!"
Somewhere between wearing sweatpants with an elastic waistband to the bar and
done up really, really beautiful and sexy with a really low-cut shirt. You want
to find someone who's in between those two extremes.
A lot of women who are on vacation fall into this
realm. They don't want to over dress or under dress, and don't know how the bar
atmosphere is going to be. They'll usually come in open-minded, and start
looking around trying to make connections. This is an excellent situation for
you (and her, of course).
That's what to look for and how you spot her in the
first place. If you see some of those, you want to watch her for a second. If
you think that she is the kind of person you can walk up to and do this, then
proceed.
If not, I'd actually suggest you proceed anyway, just
to see what happens.
Next, right after you get that done and you've seen
your girl (there are probably three or four of these girls in a bar at any
given moment) you're going to walk up and start the scary part.
What To Do
This is where the most powerful kind of frame
control comes in. It's very, very important that you understand how to control
someone else's frame if you want to come across like you're a pro at this.
By "frame," I basically mean their
"reality." You're controlling what they experience. You have to be
able to stay in control of that experience in order to really bring her to the
level where she feels comfortable making out with you immediately.
I'm going to give you a very quick, punchy, fast
way of doing this. I'll explain as quick as possible; that way you can go
straight out and try it...
Here's what I would say, word-for-word... Walk up
to a girl, when you get up to her and right when she makes eye contact with
you, I want you to SLOWLY put your finger up by your lips and say this,
"Shhh"
Then slow your speech pattern down and deepen your
vocal tonality. And immediately say, "Wait just one moment."
You can also say, "Stop for one minute."
I suggest using a bit of NLP here. Whenever someone hears "stop,"
"wait," or "don't," they immediately register whatever
comes after that.
So if I say, "Don't think of a black
cat," what do you do? Immediately, you think of a black cat and whatever
version of one you have in your head.
So if I said, "Don't try to make out with
me," or "Don't make out with me right now," girls are going to
be consciously hearing, "Don't make out with me," but their
subconscious minds will be hearing, "Make out with me right now!"
You're attempting to sort of use real-life
Inception to get making-out with you to be HER idea. She should be thinking,
"I should make out with this guy."
Now, during frame control you'll be using a lot of
these subconscious triggers in order to get this to go as fast as possible.
Please only use this for good. There are lots of evil ways to use this.
Don't try to seduce women who don't want to be
seduced. Again, that's one of the reasons why it's important that you notice a
woman who really does want to be seduced by a man.
So to recap so far: you walk up, you put your
finger over your lips and you tell her to "Shhh" for a second and
then you say a sentence that starts with "don't" or "wait"
or "stop."
My typical is "Don't worry... right now."
That's all I say. And I slow that speech down
"Don't worry.......
right now."
Then I go right into the next statement, which is,
"You and I are going to have a secret. We're going to secretly kiss and no
one will know."
And as I'm saying this, I'm leaning in... and
you'll be doing the same when you do it. You're leaning in ever... so... slowly.
At the same time, you're looking from her eyes down to her lips and back up to
her eyes again.
This is called "Triangulating." Count to
three looking at her eyes, then look down to her lips and count to two, look
back up and count to three, look down and count to two... etc. Do that about
three or four times as you're talking.
This can be a lot to remember, so you may want to
practice it a little bit. I wouldn't expect you're going to get it perfect the
first time.
So again, you say, "We're going to have a
secret. We're going to kiss and no one is going to know." From here on
out, you're really just filling up space with words as you're leaning in so
you're still controlling the interaction.
So you're going to very, very slowly, take your
right or left hand whichever one is more
accessible and reach around her back.
You won't pull her in toward you or anything yet, just touch her very lightly.
Signs That
It's Working
Is she looking at your lips? If she's looking at
your lips, you have a green light to go forward. If she's looking at your eyes,
you may want to wait a second, or turn around and turn back again and try it
again.
This resets the meter in her mind, so to speak.
When you turn around and turn back again, most people consider this to be a
fresh start in a conversation. It's a strange loop-hole in psychology.
For some reason, that's how we are as humans. When
someone turns away then turns back, we give them another chance moving forward.
So if you're getting some resistance, turn around, turn back, smile, and
continue. If she gives you resistance again, you probably should back off and
find another woman.
If she's looking at your lips and seems to be very
comfortable and excited, then proceed. You'll move in very closely and speak almost
directly into her ear.
!Important!
In a loud environment like a bar, you'll want to
speak louder, but don't raise your voice. Make your voice very low so that you
have to be very, very close to her ear for her to hear.
Then you're going to keep talking... What I usually
say is, "No one is going to see this. It's just going to be our little
secret. I promise I won't tell anybody only if you promise that you won't tell
anybody either."
As I'm saying this into her ear, I make sure that
she's feeling my breath on her neck. So I'm sort of breathing out a little bit
more than normal as I'm speaking so she can feel that hot air on her neck.
This usually gets a very visceral, deep, sexual
response from women when you do this.
As you're speaking really close to her ear, you'll,
very slowly, press your cheek against hers as you're talking. Then you'll move
you head over so that your mouth is closer to hers, and then... you'll start
kissing her.
And if you do this right, you start out with just
one soft peck... then go straight into making out. It may not seem like it in
this description, but 40 seconds is a long time. This process can happen in a
lot less than 40 seconds - I've done it in less time, and I've seen other guys
do it, too.
Practice It
What I want you to do is practice this approach.
Maybe go for a minute or two at first, and then get to where you can do this in
about 40 (or even 30) seconds.
You won't use this tactic all the time. But when
the opportunity is right, it's really good to have this in your seduction
arsenal. You want to make sure that you have the right kind of tools for the
job, so to speak.
Whenever you see a girl who's in that state and
ready to be seduced, if you beat around the bush, engage in small talk or
generally waste time, she'll be turned off and you've lost a golden seduction
opportunity.
Instead, when you spot this, you want to be able to
see her, know that that's what she wants, go in, and give it to her
immediately. This is the major difference between guys who are rock stars at
walking up and seducing a woman... and guys who wish that they were great at
quickly seducing a woman.
There are a lot of other success factors as well.
There are techniques on how to speak with the right tonality... how to touch
her that allows her to feel comfortable and doesn't turn off any of her weird
alert switches... specific NLP triggers that you can use to connect and make
sure she's totally in your zone.
What's taken me from a normal dude to a
well-respected dating coach, is knowing a lot of short-cuts like this and
knowing when to bring them out. And these short-cuts can also improve your game
with women.
Remember these characteristics in women who want to
be seduced, and remember it is possible
to make out with a woman in 40 seconds or less.
Joshua Pellicer